Why Do I Care So Much For,

I'm absent from school again for today. Not diarrhea this time round. But it's gastric problem. Vomited gastric juice thrice the moment I woke up. Absent from school for 2days in a wk. I hope I can cope w studies sia !

-

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Dear Z,
I knw it's not your fault at all. But bcos I put in more than 100% of love and effort into this r/s, that's why I thought that you're. 2.5years of r/s and also 2yrs of liking you/each other secretly isnt easy to forget. I forgave you bcos I knw that there's nth to be angry about actually. This is just part and parcel of life, isnt it ? (: Take it as an experience learnt. Life has to go on. Move on. Everyone has moved on. I shall too (:

That's it ! (:

Thank You,

Had food poisoning ystd ! Thanks to the chinese stall at Northpoint foodcourt the day before !! Had diarrhea for five times for the first time in my life. But I seriously dont mind if I can slim down from here. HAHAHAH !! Went to school for 3hours and home after that as I couldnt take it anymore. Visited the doctor and he said I had food poisoning. LOL ! And today's Mum's turn to have bad diarrhea ! Ah, thanks ah ! Mine hasnt recovered and it's Mum's turn. Bad day !

-

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
I can't tell if it's a good or bad thing. But one thing I'm sure of, I just dont want to be troubled by this thing and I shall get it out of my mind soon. Yes, very soon. I shall and I will (:

Don't You Cry,

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
The old me. Havent been feeling happy lately ever since smth happened. Only a few knew. Yes, I've been trying to feel happy again. Trying my best to cheer up. Trying to be back to the crazy and retarded eileenY again. But it's kinda hard. I'm still trying my best for everything. Worse is that, new term has started and I've yet to remove that emotions away from me. Promised the ones whom I told that I'll have my smiles hanging on me again, soon.

Shant reveal much over here. And no, pls dont ask me about it after reading.

---To Be Cont'd---

When Funny Is Equivalent To Sadness,

I doubt I'll be switching on my laptop since new term started today. So, I shall just schedule my post for the sake of the 30days challenge (;

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Actually I didnt contact any of my childhood friend. But I rmb there are a few girls who we were my "best friends" in kindergarten. We'd play I don't friend you/her/him. I recently saw two of my kindergarten friends in Yishun. Ah, they're so tall now. I couldnt recognise one of them until my mum told me it's her.

Idk what to update for this as well.

My 5th or 6th birthday

I'm the only one w watch. LOL !

---To Be Cont'd---

White Horse,

Timbre w dearest friends last evening was fun, esp the photo-taking part. I love being w them, alot alot alot !

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/
country

No one. I knw no one who's not in my state/country.

---To Be Cont'd---

-

Sometimes, when you walk one step to the wrong path.. That's the end 
of you no matter what. No matter how others assure you that nothing's 
gna go wrong. I dread going to school now.

From Then On,

Shall update before going out w my dearest friends (:


Day 15 — The personthing you miss the most


I changed it to thing bcos I miss my past the most. I wna be a carefree girl who cares about nothing but only eat slp shitz and play like no tml ! I miss the past when there's just YOU in my world. Those were the times I enjoyed myself the most bcos of the memories that led me to nowhere. It's neither here nor there.

Yes, I knw I shouldnt think about it anymore. Was talking to WJ on skype about this last night. Such a good counsellor eh. Thanks for the words and advices. I'll try to move on and stop all these shitz from now onwards.

---To Be Cont'd---

When Smiling Helps No More,

I'm back and feeling down. Real down.

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Idk if this is counted as drifted apart bcos we hardly meet up now. Dajie, Imissyou a lot ! We shall meet up for lunch or dinner one day when we're both free, kay ? Though I knw you wont be reading this. I'll text you some day (:

xx,
eileenY

---To Be Cont'd---

Cry No More,

Day 2 when I'm not at home (:

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
No one. I've alrdy forgiven that person long time ago. So far, no one has ever offended me in a very jialat way ever since that incident ! (: Everyone shall leave in peace - v^^

---To Be Cont'd---

Hello Baby,

While I'm away for the first day ...

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain


I dont hate that person at all (: In fact, I thank him for teaching me a lifetime lesson, which is: to treasure people when they're still arnd you. I guess it's time to learn to let go, like what many people had advised me. I'll.

---To Be Cont'd---

The final breakdown,

An entry before I switch off my laptop and clear my desk and room for a new study table and chair to be arrived on Friday ! :D

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Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Dear Grandpa,

You've be gone for almost 3years. Time passes in the blink of an eye. I knw it wasnt nice to have walked away in that way, in a hospice. But I guess, like what the adults said, you didnt want us to see you leave. You left in the morning after the adults left your ward. It was nvr nice to accept the fact that you're gone and I had to go to school the 2nd day after you left. All I thought was to end school asap and go to your funeral asap !

I rmb when I was still a kid, I was alrdy the do-not-want-to-listen-to-you type. But I dont rmb you nagging at or scolding me at all. I love it when you carry me high up into the air. I rmb when we were still a kid, x {I'm not gna name cousins' names here :D } was kinda scared of you and I was the one who was always glued to you wherever you go even at home. And when x was scared, I showed x that you're not a monster and that there's nth to be afraid of. HAHAH! Those were the very innocent times. Before your house got renovated, I love it when we, the kids then, climbed up to the highest "step" on your gate and you've to carry us down one by one. Despite that, we climbed up again and you've to repeat what you did before. Nonetheless, you told us you enjoyed it. We too ! There's this picnic that I rmb very vividly at ECP w family and relatives. I rode of a 3 or 4 wheels bicycle. Grandpa was behind me all the time. And as I've mentioned in the first sentence, I didnt listen to him. And I rode on an unbalanced pathway and fell down. Heh, it was Grandpa who picked me up. Thankyou.

HAHAHAH ! There's this time when I was at grandparents' house bcos I didnt want to go daycare centre. Dad sent me there and it was lunchtime. Grandpa had to feed me from kitchen to living room bcos I didnt want to eat at all. Kay, I was a very naughty girl in the past. It must be hard on you. Then it was Bro's gameboy or toy. Dad or Mum was angry and threw smth into the rubbish chute. You went down w Bro to the chute just to find back the thing. And from what I rmb, you'd buy toys for Bro when parents didnt want to buy for him. In the past, we always have overnight stay at your house w a few cousins. You'll slp in the living room for us kids to slp in the room w Grandma. But if not wrong, we went to the living room to slp as well as we wanted to have that experience of slping in the living room. LOL ! Then you had to be very careful so as not to step onto us. I love it when you pushed me high up into the sky on the swings. Yes, good memories of the swings started here. But asdfghjkl ! They just had to remove the swings and the climbing things downstairs to build a multi-storey carpark !! UGH !

It was 2007 Nov when we realised that your leg was swollen. We advised you to visit the doctor. You did, together w Aunt. It was then that the doctor said you're diagnosed w cancer. asdfghjkl ! Seriously, why you ?! ): We found out on the last day of your funeral that you were supposed to retire and enjoy life just 2days after you went to visit the doctor ! It was terrible seeing you trying to talk when you'd no strength at all.

Now, we'll have to go to the place where "you" are at to talk to you (: I love the time when Grandma asked me to try the red thingy and it was a success for me being a first timer. LOL ! They always say Grandpa doted on me and Bro the most. I believe so (:

The final breakdown. You're the best grandpa ever, Grandpa Y.
I love you, Grandpa Y.

I'm still trying to find more photos.

---To Be Cont'd---

Yesterday's,

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

This actually applies to some friends in primary and secondary schools. We've drifted apart ever since we graduated from primary and secondary schools respectively. As much as I wanted to meet you, I knw we do not have the time at all. Our timetables will always clash and also the CCAs now. Your projs and mine. But fret not, bcos we're gna have our long hols soon. Meet up soon, girls & boys ! :D There are way too many names to be typed here (: I knw can alrdy. HAHAH

I Hate This Love Song,

For ystd's. I forgot to schedule it (:

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet


My future husband. So that I can save all my tears and anger from the heartbreaks I get.

Enchanted,

Good afternoon, readers ! (:

Shall post this before going out w Mum ltr. Mum finally bought me a new study table and chair from IKEA ! ♥ More space for me to put my laptops, printer and all the nonsensical stuffs :D Love the chair very much though it's not the red chair I wanted initially ! Dinner at IKEA was fulfilling. Chicken wings :D And I love the trolley at IKEA. Remind me of the times when I played kids scooter. Luckily I didnt knock anything or anyone down. Thinking back, it's kinda funny that I could actually balance myself on a double wheel kids scooter but didnt knw how to ride a bicycle back then. LOL ! I shall schedule my post for tml since I wont be at home for the whole of tml :D BBQ W CLIQUE ! ^^

-

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Nothing much about this. I have friends online but I dont have a favourite one. Kbye ! (:

---To Be Cont'd---

Back To The Past,

This post may contain things that you wouldnt want to read. So if you wna read, please do not talk about it after reading. Thanks (:


Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush


Dear Z,
Thanks for the memories you've given me from 2008 to May 2010. There are so many memories to be mentioned here. I thank you for giving in to me for umpteen times and also thanks for tolerating my nonsense in the past. But in fact, we started way back in 2005 - 2007. I guess you alrdy knew my temper way before we got together because I gave you a bit of attitude just a few hours before movie marathon. Heh, I guess I'm the only one who rmb all these lil details.


Like what I've mentioned in my previous post that I didnt knw the meaning of love until a year when Someone was added into my world, again. Yes, we were together in 2005 but I guess back then, I didnt treasure what's mine. Then it started again in 2006 and we started going out in 2007. Many things happened in between 07 and 08. But I thank God for letting such a nice guy into my world in 2008 just a few days after V.day despite having to be separated in the end. Those were the times.


Thanks for going to all the places that I wanted to go and the movies that I wanted to watch. Yes, all along I knw that you dont like to watch romance and kiddish movies but you accommodated me just bcos I wanted to watch all those genres. Thanks for the lovely birthday present back in 2008. I love the way you phrase everything and the MM puzzle that you took one whole night to fix just for my bday, which wasnt meant to lemme knw. You got angry after someone let the cat out of the bag. But it's alr bcos only that I'd knw that you actually put heart into it and that's the first present I ever received from ex(boyf). And also the lovely letter which surprised me after you told me there's smth that you kept in the puzzle. Then it was '08 chalet w the clique. I guess you were surprised by the DIY album I made for you bcos you told me you almost teared after reading it. That's the most satisfying thing I've ever done in my life. And I sang w you the London Choco Roll while walking back to chalet w my sexaye and off pitched voice bcos I had sore throat and my voice was partially gone. SEAL-liked voice, that's what you said. Then it was Valentine's Day. I made you a card and I gave you in advance bcos I thought we wouldnt meet on the actual day. I didnt knw you actually surprised me by dropping a letter into my bag and told me when I reached home. I didnt knw your actions were that fast. Then it was my 17th birthday. Thanks for the lovely necklace and funny love letter. Thanks for putting on the necklace for me and also the birthday treat. I knw that was the first time you ever went shopping alone for a girl's present. Not even your Mum's. On the day when O levels results was released, you consoled me upon knwing my results. You kept telling me that my C.Humans and Chinese were good (': Then it's '09 clique chalet again. Thanks because we rlly had some time alone. Then it was your birthday again. Time flies. This time was a simple present from me that I was damn upset w myself though you kept assuring me that the picture I had chosen was the one you liked the most.


Then you entered JC near my house. You met me after your school for a few times and when your workload got heavier, we stopped meeting after that and only on Saturdays. Thanks for accompanying me on Sats despite you were tired and had lots of work to do / revise. Thanks for texting me everyday be it good or bad. Thanks for talking about our future w me whenever I was bored and whenever we're random. Thanks for imagining our lives together down the road. Even though we had lots of ups and downs, but we managed to go through it for at least 2years. I guess that was enough. I knw that our loves were real to each other because of all the conv we had in the past. People often say that we'll only learn how to treasure smth special after it's gone. Yes, I understand this after May '10. I guess I relied on you too much in the past 2-3years. 3yrs bcos you helped me even before we were together. This reminds me of the day when we spent 4hours at Siloso beach alone months before we got together. HAHAH ! Even though we didnt talk much but I guess it's the companion that matters.

Thanks for encouraging me on the day when I had my last paper last year. Thanks for all the jokes conv you played along on that day all the way till 9pm. Yes, I rmbed. That was like a fairytale story that I thought it wouldnt happen. Thanks for accompanying me via SMS for 3days straight when I told you about my maternal Grandpa earlier this Feb.


I still dont rlly dare to step into the places we've gone before. I shall, therefore, make a wishlist to step into
- Singapore Flyer,
- the river near SF,
- Snow City
- Museums (though I've alrdy been to one w CX Darling)
- Grand Cathay (though I've been there just ystd for the ladies)
- Henderson Waves
- Marina Barrage (Yes, I've been there once w clique for picnic after that. I gathered my courage to do so !)
- Chalets (there's one class chalet coming and I'm still contemplating though I've alrdy paid)
- Esplanade
- Sentosa

and many more. Some songs I listen to still do remind me of you. I knw I'm weird. It's been one year plus since it happened. Yes, we gotta move on but how am I supposed to do it when ... And I saw this tweet that a friend of mine retweeted this morning.

Once you have been hurt, you are scared to get attached again. You have a fear that every person is going to break your heart.

I guess everything that happens to have a starting will eventually have an ending too.There's no fairytale stories existing in this real world. Perhaps there are. But that's only 1/100 (?).  It's kinda hard for me to imagine me and someone else being together. There isnt any sad things mentioned here bcos I wna fill this blog w only happiness (: That's the way life should be. And this is just one-quarter of the things happened in the past. Hehee, everything shall be kept in me ♥

Smth that you drew using my previous camera on V.day '09

---To Be Cont'd---

Superman,

Kay, I was having problem w my Internet for the past 10mins. I think it likes only Bro's laptop but not both of mine !! Biased ass !

Day 6 — A stranger

Dear Stranger,
I knw I am petite and may seem weak but it doesnt mean that you can knock onto me and go w/o saying sorry. Yknw what's the meaning of rude ?! It doesnt mean that you can step onto my toes w/o apologizing.

Thanks for being so polite and said thankyou whenever I helped to open the door, like those bell boy.

Actually I've nothing much for this and I'm almost one hour late for this post.

---To Be Cont'd---

Amazed,

Hello,

I'm currently having problems w my IGD proj ! ): Supposed to meet Dajie today to collect our certificate but just before I was about to leave house, I realised that the last day of collection was 31May. Called DJ and it's cancelled. Went down w Dad to collect it instead. Kay, gna go out w two primary schoolmates tml :D Kinda looking forward to it bcos I havent seen one of them for 6years. May there be topics for us to talk about.

-

Day 5 — Your dreams

Dear Dreams,

I shall define you as the images happening in my mind when I'm slping. You made all the impossible images in my mind happening when smth has alrdy happened for so long. I can actually dream of the same thing over and over again for a few times on consecutive nights. Do yknw how scary that is ? Also, I dislike having the deja vu feeling ): Though it's quite amazing but I nvr rlly like it at all.

But still, I've to thankyou for letting me dream of my Grandpa for 3times (:

Actually I've nth much for this entry. Dreams are what everyone will have as we will always think of things before going to bed. Yes, that's what human brains are for (; {dont rlly make sense here}

---To Be Cont'd---

Love You Long Time,

Hello, :D

Going for a haircut ltr w Mum. My fringe is irritating to my eyes. Shall cut it short. Random paragraph.


Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Dear Bro,
As I've mentioned in the previous post, you're rlly good to your sister unlike some other brothers who will nvr give in to their younger ones. I'm rlly lucky to have you as my elder brother !

I rmb that I was always the one who bullied you and then complaint to Dad that it's the other way round when I was still a kid. HAHAH, those were the times. And I often got you into trouble. I knw you may have hated me in the past and Dad for being biased. But luckily you were sensible enough, like what Mum said, you didnt grow up and turn into a rebellious teenager / adult cus of the past. Yes, there might be arguments between you and I when we were still in primary school. The times when we argued and fought in Sengkang house. But I happy happy times were more than the times we fought and argued.

You'd always buy food back from dk-where back for us to eat. Thanks for all the birthday presents I've gotten from you every year when I didnt buy you any at all ;x Yeah, this year was the first time if not wrong and the shirt was oversized. And thanks for not complaining about it though I knw it doesnt fit. But that's alrdy the smallest leh ! I rmb that there's once when I said the pink torto in Mini Toons was nice and you bought that for my birthday present. Thanks Bro. & I bought you the tomato for x'mas present but end up I took it to hug most of the time and returned it to you after that. Although we still argue at times, but the duration wouldnt last as long as when we were young. The cold war would end in just a few minutes and we're back to talking terms again :D Thanks for being my shield most of the time when Mum was gna beat me for doing smth wrong when I was still a clueless primary school kid. And in Sec 1 when I was reprimanded for some stupid things. Thanks for helping me to negotiate w Mum when she confiscated my phone in Sec 2. Thanks for every lil things you've helped me.

I rmb that when I was still studying in Chongfu Pri, I told you to lookout for me after you're dismissed from school bcos I wanted to say goodbye to you before you board the childcare bus and when there's once when you were looking out for me but didnt see me, I got so upset till I cried. And there's once when I alighted from the bus outside my kindergarten, and a friend chased after me but I didnt like it. You helped me by telling her off. Yes, you're rlly like a guardian angel to me. I guess you've helped me many times but I dont think that's it bcos till now I still need your help for so many things ^^

As the years passed, we got rlly closer. Friends often told me this, you and your brothers are like very close / can see that your brother dotes on you a lot. Yeaps, we are and he is :D And I'm rlly proud to have him as my brother ! If next life rlly exists, I wna be your lil sister again. I wna be in this family, being parents' child again too ! <;

I've many photos for this post :D:D

I find this funny. Bro is always full of weird ideas up till today.

♥

I didnt knw that I had bald spot when I was so small. HAHAH 

He looks like an ang moh ):

Yessss, I love the bday cake and I wasnt born yet ):

This is so cute !! ♥

I just realised that I'm always one head shorter than Bro since young. Kay, short ! Hahah.

“Siblings are the unbreakable bond between God's greatest gift to parents.”

--- To be Cont'd ---

Addicted To You,

Hello, this is my 777th post after 1year & 3months. In fact, 6more days to 1year 4months. It was my 700th post waiting to reach 777th eagerly at that time. But I am no longer looking forward to this number anymore after some time. Was browsing thru the photo albums in the afternoon for this 30day challenge. I miss those days when I had nothing to worry about at all !

-

Day 3 — Your parents

Dear Beloved Parents,
Thanks for bringing me into this world. Thanks for all the pampering you all gave me for this 18, almost 19, years of life. I rlly feel blessed to be born in this family. Though I always throw tantrums at the both of you, and feeling guilty after that, but yknw the love I have for both of you can nvr be explained by words.

Thanks for lifting me up again and again after smth happened last year when I felt that life was kinda meaningless for me. Thanks for encouraging me all the time when the level of my confidence dropped to the lowest level just before the 2nd time of my O levels. Thanks for all the constant reminders, nagging and scoldings from the both of you, in fact my Bro joined in too, whenever I dropped a tear bcos of my previous r/s. Thanks for all the birthday celebrations you both gave me when I was younger. Yes, I just asked Mum why they didnt celebrate for me for these few years and she said, "but you got expensive presents from us." Hehee. True enough. Thanks for not giving up on me when I was a rebellious kid in Sec 1 - 2. Yes, my most rebellious moments and I kinda regret it.

Sorry for being a nuisance to the both of you throughout the years in primary school. All I did was nth but cried in the morning and being reluctant to go to school every morning when I had morning sessions. But thanks for giving me rewards when I got first for both English and Chinese {in class. LOL}. Thanks for giving me another reward when I was a prefect cus of good results and also when I got into the first class of EM2 {supposedly EM1. LOL}. Sorry for making you worried for me when I first got a boyf at the age of 13. Thinking back, it's nth but just puppy love until I rlly knw the meaning of love in sec 3. And despite all the rejections, I still got together w Him. Sorry for everything and thanks for the treat, Mum :D Sorry Dad, for always making you waiting for me to reach home whenever I go out w friends till late.

Lastly, Thanks for giving me such a lovely, nice, caring and considerate Brother ! I guess if someone else were to be my Bro, he wouldnt pamper and give in to me as much as him ♥ ! Yes, I'm always reminded by Mum that Bro treats me very well. Thanks for all the love from the 3 of you ♥ Thanks for every lil thing that you have done for me in this 18 - 19 years of life. 

My first birthday celebration at a hotel restaurant :D

ILOVETHIS PHOTO VERY MUCH ! :D

Hahah, after looking at all these photos .. I think Mum became prettier instead of aging. HOW CAN THIS BE ?! ): So demoralizing for me !

“The love of a family is life's greatest blessing”

---To Be Cont'd---

Hold My Hand,

Hello again (;

Shall update about the past events I had for the past few wks.

Judging from the photos I uploaded on FB, I think I shall start w the short shopping trip I had w my girls. Out w Con Hz Sylvia on one Saturday. I bought 3tops if not wrong. Left at 4 or 5plus if not wrong, to meet classmates to study at Raffles City. Turn out that it wasnt that productive. HAHAH !

Then it was 21May. Had my FTT in the morning and yea, I failed again bcos I had no time to study for it at all. Met up w Clique for singing session. We were so crazy to the extent that we went Party World after Kbox @ *Scape. So it was a total of 6hrs ! Pepper Lunch for dinner when there's a word lunch there.

Then the most recent one was RSAF open house on Friday. Reached school at 830am. Freaking early. Timbre at night w classmates :D & Kungfu Panda w Amzar CJ Chufei Dom WJ and home at 2plus in the morning. I rmbed I was dead beat that night !

Fever befriended me on Monday and I went home halfway after CKT. Kay, I must admit that I can rmb all these things but not studies. Wtshitz !

-

Day 2 — Your Crush

Hello Future Crush,
Crush is a definition of being pressed between opposing bodies so as to break or injure. LOL ! You'll only be an eyecandy to me bcos I dont believe in crush anymore (: And I've 0 eye candy up till today (;

sincerely,
eileeeenY

Wish You Were Here,

Hello, after a month <:

Quite a number of things happened. I was so lazy to update my blog. But I shall do it almost everyday in this term break (: It's almost 2months since poly started for me (: Emaths sucks ! I dislike modules which gotta do w Physics ):

Kay anyway, I went out w Darling♥ ystd after our last papers. Heh, finally can have a day to meet in school ! But the bad thing about it was, I BROUGHT MY CAMERA W/O THE MEMORY CARD ! Win alrdy ! Shall summarize about ystd. Toastbox for breakfast at Tampines 1 > Something Borrowed @ Cineleisure (Thumbs up) > Marché for dinner @ 313 Somerset > Camwhore there > Orchard Central for instax photos > Home at 10plus. 


I shall update about the past few events tomorrow (:

-


Shall challenge myself to this, 30days letter challenge and, hopefully, complete all 30. 


Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Since I just went out w you ystd, I shall dedicate this to you.

Dear Darling,
I've known you for 6years AND STILL COUNTING ! You're awesome & definitely someone whom I can always go to whenever I need advices. Cheer up okay ? (: You're a very bubbly girl to everyone of us. So I believe that you'll be able to handle it and overcome all obstacles. Most imptly, LAUGH MORE OKAY :D My crazy SHY darling. I've to emphasize on the word "shy" <; Heh, lastly ... Tell me How Can I Not Love You ? :D Nice song !! & now, I can't wait for our baking session to come soon when you're free :D

ILOVEYOU, CRAZY DLING !

xx,
Your Darling.

-

& I remember all those crazy thing you said. You left them running through my head. You're always there, you're everywhere. But right now I wish you were here.